Week 9


Oh, THERE you are.

5-2 in Week 8

5-2 in Week 7

3-3 in Week 6

30-25-2 overall. Back on track

Let’s first congratulate Steve on his balls-first move to Salt Lake City. Count him among a growing number of my friends that have actively decided not to put up with NYC’s transformation into an uncivilized gourmet playground for rich kids and those genetically gifted enough to fuck them. Peace still matters. Get your space. All the shops and cafes will still be there when you visit.

Jets (+4) at Dolphins – The Dolphins have an awful track record at home, and are still patting themselves on the back for getting by on outlying performances from their run game. Regression rears its ugly head for Miami, and the Jets get a great matchup to make a statement and save their season. Brandon Marshall should have his way with Byron Maxwell, and the defensive line shouldn’t be the easy pickings Jay Ayaji has seen in the past two weeks. If Sheldon Richardson wants to make some money, I suggest he show up on film this week. If you’re a Jet fan, you’re going to learn a lot about Todd Bowles tomorrow. Jets 24, Dolphins 20.

Giants (-3) vs Eagles – I’m going to this game, so I gotta ride it. With the Eagles listing two of their DTs out for the game, the Giants should be able to devote more protection to the edges. Block that up, get the downfield plays off that, then run up the middle against those DT backups to control the game. Don’t discount the Giants’ ability to play man coverage either, which in a 5.5 YPA performance plays big. So long as the Giants tackle, they should announce to the league that they’re coming, and they have a solid MONTH of easy games to build off this win if they get it. Giants 37, Eagles 27. 

Packers (-7.5) vs. Colts – With the Vikings effectively out of the way, and with a rededication to the younger receivers, the Packers have used their proficiency in the draft to rely on talent and matchups over coaching and scheme to find their new weapons. Ty Montgomery, Davante Adams, and Jeff Janis are going to be problems for this league in the 2nd half of the year, and aside from losing a shootout with a team that has equal weapons like the Falcons, I don’t see the Packers losing a game with a conventional score until January. R-E-L-A-X Packers 44, Colts 30.

Chargers (-4.5) vs. Titans – Every season has a 4-12 team that goes 8-8 by running the ball, playing defense, annoying their opponents into mistakes, and not trying to make plays of 15 yards or more. Tennessee basically announced that they were that team by trading for DeMarco Murray, drafting Derrick Henry, and rehiring an interim head coach. Why ask for too much, right? San Diego is a bad matchup for a team like this because they can fire downfield while overplaying the Tennessee run game. Look for the Chargers to line up their big play capability with Tennessee’s hoping it doesn’t match up. Spoiler: it won’t. Chargers 27, Titans 16. 

Chiefs (-7.5) vs. Jaguars – As far as storylines that could affect where conference title games are played, I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about the possibility of Nick Foles stealing the starting job from Alex Smith in Kansas City. Foles is, in effect, the antithesis of Alex Smith, a statuesque cannon with a penchant for mistakes, but once he starts connecting with a big target like Travis Kelce or a world-class sprinter like Tyreek Hill downfield, it’s going to be hard to ignore that Alex Smith doesn’t quite provide those things. Barring a disaster, the Chiefs get a few weeks to figure this out on their terms. There’s no way you can play like Jacksonville is playing right now and expect to win at Arrowhead. Chiefs 31, Jaguars 13. 

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